Saturday, 21 June 2008

Music hall balads - of tubs and fubseys

This bawdy music hall shanty Oyster Nan is obviously also Scottish. A fubsey is a “small chubby person”

An oyster nan stood by her tub
To show her vicious inclination
She gave her noblest parts a scrub
And sighed for want of copulation
A vintner of no little fame
Whop excelled red and white can sell ye
Beheld the dirty little dame
As she stood scratching her belly

Come in says he you silly slut
Tis now a rare convenient minute
I’ll lay the itching of your scut
Except some greedy devil be in it
With that the flat capped fubsey smiled
And would have blushed but that she could not
Alas says she, we are soon beguiled
By men to do these things, we should not

From door they went behind the bar
As tis by common fame reported
And there upon as turkey chair
Unseen the loving couple sported
But being called by company
As he was taking pains to please her
I’m coming, coming Sir, says he
My dear and so am I, says she

Her molehill belly swelled about
Into a mountain quickly after
And when the pretty mouse crept out
The creature caused a mighty laughter
And now she has learned the pleasing game
Although much pain and shame it cost her
She daily ventures at the same
And shuts and opens like an oyster